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In a room filled with magical and wondrous things, a plain and useless item sticks out like a sore thumb. This is a list of items are designed to perplex and trouble players as they seem to, and indeed have, no identifiable purpose. Alternately, you could also use them as the indispensable toys of some powerful creature that will kill anyone who has them in their possession. Here isa list of 100 items with no apparent use whatsoever to help add a splash of the mundane into a search through a wererat hoard, and to make the hero say “a what?” whilst wading through the coin of a giants keep.

You may wish to spice up the odd magic item by having its mundane appearance hide a secret. For example #19, the mummified rat corpse astride a ship in a bottle, could in fact be a Jar of the Bringer of Plagues. Once per day this item can summon a swarm of cranium rats which act under the instruction of the summoner for a period of 10 rounds. The item only functions when the user is aboard a ship at sea.

1. Large pile of dried assassin vines
2. Map of the room/chamber the PCs have entered
3. A large fake beholder made of straw and cloth
4. Two hundred rusty nails
5. A pair of broken bellows with a spider living inside
6. A set of false teeth in a jar labelled “teeth of Olath the terrible”
7. A bald mop with the word “Karreen” scratched into the handle
8. A broken bucket plugged up with an old oily scrap of ermine
9. A 4-pint tankard with a hole in the bottom
10. Sixteen clay stirge statues
11. A jar of ointment labelled “pig soother”
12. A scarf made of owlbear fur that is incredibly itchy
13. A mirror with the words “I am the most” written on the face in goblin
14. Two dozen stuffed mice in a clay jar
15. A flag of no discernable country
16. Seven chess boards all broken in half with dried blood on them
17. A large pile of worn flagstones labelled “trap this way up”
18. A broken stone lintel from a window or stove
19. A mummified rat corpse astride a ship ina bottle
20. A very poor painting of a sheep
21. A pair of billhooks bent into the shape ofa heart
22. Two large dried catfish with mousetraps in their mouths
23. A pair of papier-maché greataxes
24. A huge stuffed hippogriff with a treasure chest instead of a head
25. A stained glass window depicting a prancing spider eater
26. A mop bucket filled with giant frogspawn
27. A necklace of troll teeth
28. Ninety seven dead large centipedes on a hat pin
29. A glass helm
30. A statue of a gargoyle with eleven heads
31. A small collection of mildewed tomes about cheese
32. Six badger leg bones in a leather bag
33. A cat saddle
34. Three melted iron bottle stoppers labelled “efreeti! – do not remove”
35. A pair of theatrical shields made of cotton
36. An enormous cheese-grater for a huge or larger creature
37. A huge iron collar
38. A collection of various-sized manticore spikes
39. A headless hammer
40. A wooden carving of the tarrasque
41. An executioner’s hood with the eyeholes sewn up
42. Four hundred and eight spent sunrods
43. A wand of magic missile with no charges
44. Two naga skeletons on wooden frames
45. A clock face set to 4:00
46. A collection of clothes pegs of huge size
47. An hourglass without sand
48. A halfling clay pipe with two stems
49. A set of breaches for a storm giant
50. Thirteen black cat silhouettes made of iron
51. The stretched skin of an otyugh
52. A ship’s anchor that has been broken in two
53. A large glass eye with a slit instead of a round pupil
54. An octopus tentacle painted yellow
55. A long bench labelled with obscene graffiti in Aquan
56. A 10-foot-long wooden shortsword
57. A wardrobe filled to the brim with hats of various descriptions
58. Two drawers of carefully wrapped deceased stiffened Large snakes
59. A pillow stuffed with cockatrice feathers and labelled as such
60. A broken window shutter with the word “Keep” written upon it
61. A scarecrow head likeness of one of the heroes who found it
62. A pantomime horse costume
63. A pantomime nightmare costume
64. Six corn dolls with rat skull heads
65. Five large knitted moons with cows jumping over, labeled “moooon”
66. A set of full plate for a ferret
67. A book with eleven recipes for chuul written in infernal
68. A cowbell for a titanic cow
69. Three brass figurines of imps blowing raspberries at each other
70. A mask designed to look like a beholder with glass eyes on stalks
71. A 12-pound green candle
72. A carved wooden loaf of bread 6 feet wide
73. A pair of iron spoons, one marked “good” and one marked “bad”
74. A doormat with “not welcome” written on it in Goblin
75. A large jar of liquefied grick going slightly mouldy
76. Three painted blue harps without strings
77. A torn tapestry depicting a battle between badgers and mummies
78. A Tiny ale tankard incorrectly stating that it holds a quart
79. A selection of rusty bent saws
80. A battered carpet with “speak and | shall fly” written upon it
81. Thirty-seven stones carved to look like crows
82. ‘Two hat-stands of enormous size
83. A black cloth bag filled with odd shoes and gloves
84. A flat cap made of dire rat skins
85. An often repaired raft for a single Small creature with “da” painted on it
86. A small iron castle with a pair of iron dragons circling it
87. A charred piece of wood labelled “Last of Snurre’s Steading”
88. A small chest filled with lead dises
89. An empty jar labelled “do not open, contains wail of the banshee”
90. An owl teddy bear of great size, possibly for a giant child
91. A roc-call whistle without a pea but labelled as such
92. A pair of fishing flies made from griffon feathers
93. A 20-foot iron ladder which deliberately has only three rungs
94. A stirge mobile made of wax
95. A set of iron shoes with steel laces
96. A jar with eleven eyes in it labelled “Uncle Orb RIP”
97. A wooden earring carved in the likeness of an anvil and axes
98. A battered steel horn labelled “call of the xorn”
99. A weather vane depicting a beholder chasing gnomes
100. A miniature iron golem carved to look

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BY RICHARD PETT
BY JEFF CARLISLE